Series Review: Friends
I finally finished rewatching Friends and it was a trip. But rewatching this show as an adult showed me so many things I missed out on when I saw it as a teenager.
And that is why I advocate for rewatch. There are moments in life where you just need to double-check on some movies to see if they sent the same message as they did before or maybe it was you who didn’t get it. Anyhoo, this review is my honest thoughts on the friendship dynamic not on the series itself. I’ll be talking more about the characters in relation to real-life friendship expectations.
Partial Honesty
Simon Sinek advocates for honesty, but he also advocates that one knows the perfect timing to deliver it so as not to deflate the other’s spirit. With this in mind, I have to say that to a large extent, they were not honest friends to Joey and Phoebe when it came to their acting and singing careers respectively.
Phoebe’s Singing
Phoebe was a horrible singer. There. I said it. I get that she didn’t want to do anything with it, but if they had come together and actually been honest with her about her craft, maybe she would have gotten better. A real friend doesn’t always need to be Maria from The Sound of Music, sometimes what we need is a Nanny McPhee.
PS: Since watching the show, whenever I see a dirty cat, I catch myself singing Smelly Cat.
All they had to do was come together after one or two of her shows and let her know she wasn’t doing well, and then even provide help or a tutor to help her get better. If she refuses the help then they know they tried.
I know what many would say. “How would she feel?” She would feel like her friends were trying to help, and if she reads that wrongly then, sorry. I also felt she lacked ambition. I get that not many people care about money, which is fine, but the fact that she could always use her songs for jingles but still refused to was just nonsense.
She had the brains. She was smart. She could even speak French. Phoebe could have gotten a teaching job as a French tutor. She could have organised private classes and earned more. She had so much potential which she slept on and I don’t mean to belittle the work of a masseuse in any way. but she just didn’t have anything serious to look forward to in her career and that felt odd.
Joey’s Acting Career
Fine boy privileges definitely pay because Joey can’t act to save his life. He’s a terrible actor. They attended his shows. Even if he was living in denial, they could have brought him out of it with some much-needed timely truth. He was just too comfortable at his level that he never tried to get better and thank God for the Days of Our Lives show, he wouldn’t have had a reliable source of income till the show ended.
Real Honesty
Rachel's Job
Now, when it came to Rachel, the group seemed more open to telling her how bad she was at everything. I understand that maybe she joined late and as such they were not so concerned with hurting her feelings but their honesty with her and calling her out on her daddy’s girl attitude gave her the clarity she needed to get out of the coffee shop and pursue something tangible.
They helped her apply for jobs. They told her when her coffee was bad. Monica called her out on her attitude and expensive taste. Even Phoebe had words for her and everything they said came to fruitfulness in her. Yes, she served coffee for a while, but she did stand on her feet and pursue her interests. That is growth. That is friendship, and watching out for someone you call a friend.
Partial Friends to Phoebe
Ask the group to tell you the last time Phoebe had sex and they’ll recite the day, venue, date and style she used, but ask them about her life and they don’t know anything. How can you have someone as a roommate for years and not know that she’s a twin? As much as Phoebe didn’t like discussing Ursula or her past, didn’t family discussion ever come up when she was with Monica? It felt like everything they knew about Phoebe they found out by accident. If they were to take a pop quiz, they would tank with Phoebe’s life because they and Jon Snow had something in common: they knew nothing.
Career Ambition
Monica
When it comes to career ambition, I believe we have to give it to Monica. From the very beginning, she had a plan. And while she may be compulsive and obsessive, Monica did a lot for herself. She cut down and ate healthier. She built herself to the level where she could grow and one day own her own restaurant. I liked her career growth, but not very much her insane controlling attitude.
Chandler
Chandler’s career switch was another applaudable move. It’s scary leaving a well-paying boring job to start afresh in a new field with low pay. It takes guts to do something like that and the fact that he did it and took it seriously made me like him more.
Sidestepping
The friends sidestepped so much that it had me stressing out. Some issues didn’t even need to be elongated but because of how they kept wondering how this one would feel and that one would take it, they complicated the matter. My favourite issue they actually tackled was the expensive outing and bills when they weren’t earning the same.
If I go out with you to expensive restaurants and I order water, best believe I’m only paying for my water. It’s funny how it took Rachel coming into the mix for Joey and Phoebe to speak up and even when they did the other tried to make them feel bad. Aside from this issue, a lot of other ones were danced around too much. A little straightforwardness could have solved a lot of their problems.
The Break
I know this will be triggering for so many people but this is where I stand: Ross cheated on Rachel! it’s that simple. So, let me get this straight. You and your partner get into it and she yells she wants a break and because you heard a man in her background you decide to jump into bed with the first woman who crosses your path? Seriously!
Here’s where Rachel faulted:
- She should have agreed to have the conversation the next day considering how mad everyone already was.
- Her asking for a break in the heat of the moment was ill-timed.
- Inviting someone she knows he is insecure about to the house after the break and then getting on a call with him was foolish.
Aside from these three things, she’s in the clear. If she had slept with a guy around the same time frame, would he have accepted it was a break? Also, and this is just me, I would not have turned down the job in Paris. He should make the sacrifice for once and have his life changed a little.
She could have taken it and tried out if they could work long distance, but I get that they needed a good ending for them. If we’re being really honest, Ross wasn’t an entirely good boyfriend. He was adorable and loved her since high school but his insecurity was just too much to handle at times.
The Best Partners
Chandler and Monica
If Richard had been younger and part of the clique, he would have gotten this title but after serious consideration and based on recency bias, I would have to give it to Chandler.
Chandler was the best partner to his partner, Monica. The level of calmness and patience to even handle Monica is enough to give it to him. Of course, we could see that he wasn’t always like that. He was vain, and mean with his words and called Monica fat which led to him losing his pinky toe, but as he dated her and matured with her, she rubbed off on him and in turn, he became the best partner she could have asked for.
What cemented it for me was the adoption conversation where he let her know that lying to get a child, no matter how good their intentions were, was not good and then still proceeded to go beg on her behalf because he knows how much having a child means.
Or the fact he downplayed his skills at table tennis so that she could win, or even when he took it upon himself to win Mike so that she didn’t lose. He was amazing and his dynamic relationship with Janice had me cracking up seriously. That laughter was just so annoying!
Mike and Phoebe
The next best partner is Mike and I didn’t put him first because he joined the clique later on. He’s the best fit for Phoebe and though David may have worked, Mike had her love button. He knew how to get her out of stupid decisions without making her feel like an airhead and it was lovely to see. Honestly, Phoebe deserved it considering she suffered the most among them and had it worse. Thankfully, she gained a mother and a brother with three niblings, but having Mike love her for her was wonderful.
Worst Partners
Joey
This undoubtedly goes to Joey. I still don’t get what women see in him. Imagine my disappointment with Charlie when she hooked up with him. If it’s just the sex then it’s crazy because aren’t you supposed to have intellectual conversations with your partner? It’s no wonder he’ll end up alone as they rest build homes and families.
I don’t know what the writers were thinking with the Rachel-Joey ship but thankfully it sank at the harbour. There was no need to make us feel bad for Joey. I mean, I get it. He did like her honestly, but Joey was way too immature to be a serious life partner. He is a good brother to his sisters and a good friend as we see him tell Chandler about the cheating suspicion he had, but as a partner, he was not just it.
Ross
As I mentioned earlier, Ross wasn’t an entirely good partner. Being insecure and robbing it off on your partner is stressful which is why Rachel asked for the break in the first place. That stunt he pulled at the altar was insane and Rachel, too, was selfish for showing up to the wedding with bad intent. Their rollercoaster relationship stressed me out a lot.
Final Thoughts
I couldn’t help but feel bad about Matthew Perry. I’m so happy they had the reunion. It would have been so painful reuniting for the show without him. All 10 seasons were a journey through time and it felt nice seeing all those now A-list celebrities like George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Bruce Willis, and even Van Damme, make an appearance.
PS: I’m thinking of doing an individual review of each character but that may never happen.
Friends had a good run and the way it came to an end was the best. I laughed when I needed toa nd cried when it called fo rit. There were ups and downs and lows and highs and at the end, it was amazing. Leaving that apartment and a visit to the coffee shop was the most memorable way to end the show. It’s a show that will forever be etched in my heart.
